Friday, 21 March 2014
Tuesday, 20 August 2013
Looking out of the window Anjali was finding peace in the droplets of rain on it. They slided slowly downward on the window glass. She opened the window and the view was estatic. The window faced a beach which was at the highest point of its beauty. She looked closely and could see cgildren running in the rains and enjoying the sea at the same time, a young couple romancing in the rains, a family of a couple and their child who were taking tine off from their daily responsibilities and enjoying the breeze on the beach. It was raining at a lower pace and it made everything so beautiful that it made Anjali wanting to go out and play with those kids , go out and hug her partner till forever. Anjali was going into a trance with every passing minute, she heard sounds of people and realising there was a fight going on the street alongside the beach. She tried hearing what the fight was about but couldnt.
The smell of fresh earth after it rained filled her senses. She loved getting all drenched in rains but right now she couldnt move away from the window,the sight was too beautiful to move. She saw the waves touch the shore and move back , thinking that life is so similar, we achieve something only to loose something else. The noise of the waves was enchanting her.
Anjali loved the sea since her childhood. And growing up turns simple life pleasures into wants and it happened with her too. She always dreamt of having a sea facing penthouse.
A sudden noise breaked her trance. The noise came from behind and she turned her back to look what it was. A plate of food being slided towards her. The room was filled with noises of people next to her room, some fighting and some judging how bad the food was. She felt a rage in her head, the empty walls startd to stare at her again and she couldnt bear it. The food in the plate was scaring her , her apetite had gone dead.
Anjali was fed up of it now, eating like an animal and being treated like one was the last thing on her mind when she committed the fraud. She actually hated everything that brought her to reality, the trance was so better and accomodating.She wanted a luxurious life full of french windows and a sea facing penthouse. But reality was crude , she was serving a 10year imprisonment for a fraud at the bank where she was employed.working around too much of money and not having much of your own has its own set of insanities. The window facing the jail compound was the only thing keeping her sane . This very window was her passage to her dream life. It helped her tranform reality to dreams.
Not all dreams come true, even after your most desperate attempts.... but you can always live your dreams in your head....
Monday, 19 August 2013
Amit was a normal middle class guy who was now 31year old and his family was busy finding a bride for him. Well looking at his marriage profile it wasnt very difficult to find one for him , he was handsome and charming ,but the problem with Amit was that he wanted a perfect bride. A girl of his dreams to just walk down the path of reality and kiss all his dreams is what he wanted as told to his mother.....
Was he expecting too much isnt the question here , the question to his mother was when will he stop. Being a totally shy guy throughout his life , Amit never had a girlfriend though he had girls who were his friends. For a working software professional like him who lived in a virtual world most of the time , it was a bit difficult to be active social life in reality.He had over 800 friends on facebook and tonnes of followers on twitter but today again he was getting ready to get on the search for his bride....just to calm his mother
Amit's mother on the other hand was an over excited lady when it came to gossiping and especially the marriage discussions. For her it was becoming a prrstige issue to get him married , today again they were getting ready to "see" a girl as rightly put down in an Indian arranged marriage scenario. Girl seeing and bird watching to me sounds very similar.
With a crisp white shirt and geled hair , Amit was ready to visit the 14th girl's house for "seeing" her. He was kind of fed up rejecting girls and waited for a day when his mother would give up on the whole Indian Wedding Circus , he himself had long back given up on the idea of getting married.Because he knew his prefection was not in sync with what the society claims as perfect.Amit's dad in all this was a silent accompany , his views mattered the least in the house anyways.
They reached the girls house exact on time and her parents welcomed them grandly. Aroma of freshly brewed coffee occupied the place and the most humble Indian snack samosas were served. The girl was nowhere to be seen as yet. Amit's mother started the conversion my mentioning Amit's achievements which ranged from his first song he mummered at the age of 4 to the latest iphone he bought on his own. The view was more of a salesman desperate to make a sale , and here the object on display was Amit. Amit personally hated it , he hated his mom for being so loud at times and ge hated being an object for the 14th time , but had to succumb to his mother's orders.
The girl was finally called and both the family went into long conversations about the girl this time ,
"Amrita is a commerce graduate and has conpleted her post graduation in finance, she works currently at a multinational as a Finance Executive. She has taken over cooking in the house, even today's samosas are made by her...." exclaimed girl's mother who again sounded like a salesman. Both the family decided to give Amit and Amrita alone time so they could decide their future in those few minutes of meeting.
Amit was already thinking about Amrita's perfection. She was fair ,tall but not taller than him ,her voice was sweet and her credentials screamed her intelligence....but...yes there was always a "but" in Amit's head.....
"Amrita tell me more about yourself..."
"Apart from what my mother said, i love painting, going out with friends and travelling to new places...and also...." and Amit interepted her....
" Amrita I need to tell you something very important.... " and what followed it shocked Amrita.
Few minutes later both came out of the room and Amit gestered a No to his mother and they left the place. On the way there were conversations on why Amit rejected the girl , he just gave a reason that he didnt like her.... That Amrita was not perfect for him....His mother was disappointed and kept on praying for her son to find a perfect bride. .
Amrita on the other hand was more than taken aback on what Amit had confessed....His words still rang in her head.
" Amrita I will never find a perfect bride because I have already found a perfect spouse. I am gay and my family will never understand it , you are perfect but I am not perfect for you....I hope you will keep this a secret and allow me to end this "
Amit had found a perfect spouse.... perfect for him...not the world....
Love is perfect....in all ways....in all forms....
Saturday, 6 July 2013
His 2 brothers who had recently shifted to USA had flown down for the event with their respective wives and they were too looking forward for our 50th anniversary. Me and my husband on the other hand were pretty scared, why? because our sons had decided to get us married again at this age to celebrate our togetherness. Getting married in front of your sons is any day a greater pressure than getting married in front of your elders. I was too excited to meet all the relatives too.
Just 2 days ago Rakesh stopped calling , I wish he had listened to me and got married like his brothers . I wouldn't have to worry about him so much then , but he never paid attention to my scoldings or advice. Rakesh was so excited about us getting married once again that his sudden absence from the scene irritated me . I called him many times , left him messages but no answer. Even his company didn't knew where he was. This guy I tell you is unpredictable and up-to a big surprise. When in school , Rakesh once hid under a bed for a whole day while we were busy searching for him around and finally when everyone gave up , he came laughing from beneath the bed. This time too I am sure he is planning a major scene.
Among-st all these I was feeling amiss. I asked about rakesh to his dad but he didn't have a clue but was cool about it as he had got used to the surprises he was up-to at times.
Everyone present and with the muhurat set , we got married once again and Rakesh still was nowhere to be seen. My eyes were searching for him. Its something only a mother will understand, I know he will come but till the time he comes by heart will keep on missing him.
The ceremony was over and I went into my room to take out some cash. I was suprised , someone came and hugged me from behind and when I turned around it was Rakesh . My heart experienced peace. Finally I see him , I was so happy to see Rakesh that I missed to point out a burnt skin mark on his left side of the face.
"Rakesh , Where were you? And how did this happen ? How did you burn your face? Have you seen a doctor?"
"Ye Maa, relax. I was talking on the phone while driving 2 days ago and my phone's battery just exploded and left side of my face was burnt . I was at the doctor Maa for the last two days and was dying to speak to you"
"Rakesh you could have at-least called us...."
"Happy Anniversary Maa..., Your Anniversary is most important to me right now. I love you and dad a lot. Please never think that you are alone, we all 3 brothers are there for you, even when we are away"
With that I told him to get fresh and return back to the ceremony to meet the family and others. I left the room and waited for him to come out. I got busy chit-chatting with the relatives present until someone asked me about where Rakesh was. I suddenly realized he was again missing from the event. I went back to my room to check but it was empty. ea but he was found now
I came out and searched the entire area but he was found nowhere.
His father came to me to call me downstairs where everyone was waiting for us. I went down and saw policemen standing. It was confusing , I asked Rakesh's father why was there police in the house and he said he too didn't have an idea, the police said to bring you down before they said anything.
"Mr& Mrs Sharma we feel sad to inform you that Rakesh is no more"
With that statement my heart was hit by a bolt and I just couldn't understand the turn of events. What rubbish was being said? Was this again Rakesh's secret surprise plan, if it was it was too much to handle.
"What are you saying , how can he suddenly die. You have mistaken my Rakesh for someone else Inspector. He just is a bit burnt on left side of his face , nothing serious" I exclaimed
"Mam , We found Rakesh's car and it was hit by a bus when he probably was returning home. The autopsy confirmed he died 2 days back, also his left side of the face is burnt due to an explosion in his mobile battery as we found pieces of his mobile and battery in his car. He might have lost control due to the explosion while he was speaking and hit an oncoming bus from the opposite side.But how do you know about his burnt face?"
I couldnt speak a word post that. No one will ever understand how I know it, even I at times dont believe it....I dont know if the news was a bad gift , or his hugging me for the last time was the best gift....
Obsessions take long to die, and some habits lead you to death. ...
Thursday, 4 July 2013
Mr Byomkesh's daughter had ran away with a guy . He couldn't believe it. She was all he ever had, all he ever invested in. He invested not only his money , but his affection , his time and most importantly his love in her. He did have a younger daughter Saumya, But he always considered Sushmita his own shadow . Sushmita was the nerd of the family , she was shy and spoke only when spoken to like her father. Soon after Mr Byomkesh's retirement , she was supposed to get married and settle down in a small town near Kolkata.
She ran away few days before his retirement leaving behind a note when Mr and Mrs Byomkesh were asleep . The note was very simple -
" I am sorry for what I am doing , But my love doesn't allow me to stay and gift you disappointment and shame"
He couldn't read the letter without tears in his eyes. A whirlpool of emotions hit his head, the obvious reasoning he made was a secret love affair. Sushmita was a quiet girl , how she could befriend her loyalty towards her father was unimaginable to him. Loyalty has been always been associated with quieteness for some unknown reasons. His wife and Sushmita's mother Ritu was a homemaker and a simple lady. She always instilled culture and made her conscience very clear and true, or she tried to. It was also very shocking to her because Sushmita was recovering from a recent accidental injury and her sudden decision to run away came as a shock.Sushmita was scared of hospitals and considering his earnings even Mr Byomkesh was scared of them for completely different reasons. It was only 15 days since her discharge and she had decided to run away from the house.
Soon Mr Byomkesh retired and his retirement farewell was filled with more anecdotes on Sushmita running off and colleagues giving him advice on handling the younger one. This only helped adding fire to Mr Byomkesh's anger for Sushmita. She had become the reason for his embarrassment all over. They decided to shift to a different town in Kolkata when the taunts became unbearable.
It was a new town, people didn't have an idea about Sushmita's story. Mr Byomkesh had told everyone in the vicinity that he has only one daughter and that he was looking for a groom for her . As per gods plan he found a suitable groom for her and Saumya was more than happy to agree to the match as it would mean her freedom from the so called imprisonment she was facing at her own house. Marriage for her meant freedom.
So the date was set, invites were distributed. All relatives were told to be mum about Shushmita and her existence. The groom was a software engineer and was supposed to shift to Bangalore post the marriage. That solved a lot of things already .
The whole Indian wedding circus began. Ambiance was set, the brides relatives running up and down to get things arranged. Now the things ranged from a stupid chair to the divine Mangalsutra. Everything in an Indian wedding is like an event in itself. The groom's arrival had few minutes left. There were enaunches and beggars standing and waiting outside the entrance, drooling to get in. There was one particular girl covering her face among st the beggars, she didnt look like one and it caught Mr Byomkesh eye. He was passing by the entrance gate and saw the girl trying to desperately peep into the venue. The girl swiftly entered the venue when no one was watching and Mr Byomkesh was busy talking to a guest. He got busy in the ceremony and the girl too disappeared. He was still curious to know who she was, he couldn't see her face properly , but what if she was a thief trying to sneak in and rob the jewelry ? The ceremony ended and guests proceeded to have the great Indian tamasha called Buffet Dinner
He spotted the girl going out of the gate and he ran after her . He knew she must have stolen something and that is the reason for her quick exit. He shouted and called her to stop her but the girl kept running. He finally caught hold of her and screamed at her to give back whatever she had stolen from the venue. He then saw her face and his world stopped.
It was Sushmita. He never imagined he would encounter her ever, all emotions suddenly came back to life. Sushmita stood still with tears in her eyes. Mr Byomkesh then warned her to go away and never return back since she had already caused enough trouble for him and everyone else in the family. She kept crying and fainted. The father in Mr Byomkesh was angry and embarrassed but was still alive. He along with a watchman took her to a nearby hospital. The guests were eating and would continue for hours. Mr Byomkesh told Saumya and her mother that he will return in an hour and left the venue.
He entered the hospital room and saw Sushmita lifeless. She didn't move an inch, he imagined if the guy she ran off with had disowned her , if she was here to ask for money ? was she ashamed of what she did? Many unanswered questions remained locked in his head for the next few minutes. The doctor entered the room and to take special care of Sushmita henceforth. He mentioned that she was low on immunity and her immunity was depleting with each passing day. Doctor advised that she needed emotional acceptance and as such diseases kill the patient's confidence and social life. Mr Byomkesh was confused, he asked the doctor about what was exactly wrong with Sushmita .
The doctor revealed Sushmita was HIV positive. Mr Byomkesh's world came crashing down, all his anger and disgust had a new outlet now , his tears. His first thought was may be she was disowned by the guy she ran away with after she contracted the disease from him. May be that was the way of god's punishment.
Still he wanted to know from her what she was going through. Sushmita came to senses and finding herself in a hospital she guessed that her father must have known by know wht she was hiding. Mr Byomkesh entered the room , stared at her with blank eyes and asked
" Why did you run away Sushmita? Look what the guy did to you !"
Sushmita finally spoke...
"Dad, there's no guy. I never ran off with a guy. You remember I was admitted after my bike accident?You always advised me against riding bikes but I always neglected your advice. I was admitted and an infected syringe gifted me HIV. I realized it when I conducted few check ups after my continuous falling ill sessions. I didn't want to be a reason for your embarrassment and so decided to leave. I knew the society would dought my reason for contracting HIV and Saumya's marriage would then never happen if I stayed back"
and tears rolled down her fragile cheeks.
Mr Byomkesh stood still. Suddenly Sushmita's note was making non stop appearances in his mind. Now he understood what she meant by it...
" I am sorry for what I am doing , But my love doesn't allow me to stay and gift you disappointment and shame". He had never thought he would be wrong in interpreting what she meant, but he was. He now understood what love meant to her.
We judge too early and many times wrongly. Love is unconditional.....
Tuesday, 2 July 2013
Today is a special day for my boss , its his birthday . Today he turns 30. I still remember his 25th Birthday because that was the day when I first met him . At first I was scared to even look at him but as moments passed I couldn't wait for him to return home. We had a great time together till now, he takes real good care of me . Once when he was unwell I had given up food for days and eat only after he recovered . I know it sounds crazy but that's the way I am, Crazy.
That day he was at home and the birthday party started late in the evening, the house of full of guests moving from one corner to another, I was feeling lost in the crowd when he came and rescued me showing me the way to his room . I never liked these parties, I had to stay locked up in his room so that the party was not disturbed and he was not made to explain my presence. That night I was wide awake for him to return but he didn't.
The next day I became restless and started banging the door and he opened the door. I shouted at him for locking me up in the room but he royally ignored my presence. He fired the cook and told the cook to take me along. I had tears in my eyes , Why would he do such a thing ? I loved him more than my own life
I never complained of anything nor did give him a chance to complain , then why was he being so insensitive about me .I heard him telling the cook " I have lost my job and this house too is company's property so I have to vacate the house . I cant take care of her anymore , and I cant leave her so please help me get her a good home. Please take her to the same place where I got her from , The Pet Adoption center"
I dont live with him anymore , but he will always be my love.... I will never forget him ever.
Someone rightly said "Dogs never forget their master". Love cant be explained , especially the ones who cant speak can barely express it in ways humans understand . But it still remains LOVE.....
Saturday, 8 June 2013
Like every other guy , while growing up he didn't like her but now she was his life . People respected him more when they were together . She made sure he was fine , because being old brings a lot of hassles and she was always on his side . Mr Rao never felt alone even after his parents demise because of her . She tightly held his hand through everyday struggle .
He reached the required destinations and the work was complete . With her on his side he never felt need of any assistance . Mr Rao didn't knew that things were going to change . With a bag full of household supplies , he tried crossing the road carefully as usual ,but was hit by an car which seemed to be out of control. Luckily he wasn't hurt much but he fell down on his knees and injuring them , she on the other hand was crushed under the Tyre . Mr Rao started searching for her frantically , he couldn't find her, then suddenly his fingers touched something and he felt her . She was crushed under the car , his only support system had gone . He was feeling restless, the onlookers took him to a hospital for minute dressings.
" Mr Rao , Its god's grace that you are saved . Next time on-wards be more careful . If you want I can suggest you to a Blind Home and also you lost your stick today , we have got you a new one so that you don't have trouble replacing it " the doctor exclaimed
" Thanks doctor , but she cant be replaced , just like my darkness .."
We are attached to everything , living , non - living , illusion and real , everything . And this attachment fires emotions which leads to actions . And when the object of attachment ends , it breaks us down.